I can’t *quite* put into words how much I miss having my father around without a tear or two rolling down my cheek.
So I don’t say much at all.
My childhood was pretty good, I learned a lot of life skills growing up on the dairy farm. We didn’t have much – a few toys, a tv with one station, and few neighbours. Life was about space. For me, it was about independence.
I taught myself how to ride my bike. No training wheels, no mom, no dad. I taught myself how to tie my laces, no mom, no dad. I ventured out alone at a young age to roam the 400 acres at will. Inspecting, memorizing. Eventually, I would walk around with my eyes closed. I taught myself how to b uild structurely sound buildings, hay forts, cabins, and I would climb trees. I did not have help.
I got my first horse when I was in the seventh grade. My father had moved on from dairy farming, so we had empty barns. Pre-occupied with his next carEer, he told me I could use the barn, but I would have to buy the feed. He drove me to the village to pick it up. I had rescued that first horse, injured in a harness racing event, was no longer “good for anything”. I loved him, talked to him, and he went from being skittish and mean, to following me around everywhere with his chin on my shoulder. I taught him to accept a saddle, and I rode my pacer. I learned to ride him bareback, even though his jarring pacer gait was not meant to be ridden at all, I managed to find a rhythm that suited just fine.
I traded my chickens that I was raising for my next horse. Then another. Then another. I was in eighth grade and effectively running my own horse farm. I had no help. Other than needing someone to pick up the feed, I did all the chores myself.
For all this, thank you Dad for allowing me to figure stuff out on my own. I have never regretted being independent, I have always been able to solve problems, and I can teach old dogs new tricks. I love you, and I wish you were here. Happy birthday, hope heaven is a place that needs fixing up…otherwise I am sure you are bored!
Posted on September 3, 2011
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